Five quick thoughts to get the juices flowing…

1. I have watched a total of 2 quarters of playoff basketball. Normally, I end up hopping on board the NBA playoffs sometime during the first round. Is it me or has the first round been this flat?

2. Yesterday I opened a lower drawer in my desk that I never used. In it I found a Czech Republic pooper-scooper bag. The bag (unused) has fantastic cartoon drawing of a dog on a toilet, and on the back it has a handy diagram teaching the user how to clean up dog poo. While I can’t read the bag because I don’t speak Czech, I’m sure it is quite informative. I wish I was making this up.

3. The concept of Kaitlyn from RW RR Fresh Meat 2 claiming to be a serious martial arts expert is awesome. I’m picturing her running around like the dungeons and dragons kid in Role Models. On a side note, I am shocked she did not get seriously hurt after her fall in the most recent challenge.

4. How the hell did Shania Twain end up with an entire American Idol episode focused on her music?

(I will admit to googling the following, but allow me a rant…) She has released a whopping total of 4 albums and hasn’t produced anything new in 8 years. She has one legit hit album, and in hindsight that only had two decent tracks with any sustainability. I’m just shocked that Idol would set the bar so low, or they would so grossly over emphasize the impact of someone’s career.

The closest comparison I can think of was how good Tom Chambers was back in the “Lakers verse Celtics” video game. Actually screw it. Chambers triple-pump dunk is more in line with reality than Shania meriting an entire Idol episode focused on her music.

5. The concept of the Raiders “upgrading” from JaMarcus Russell to Jason Campbell is really sad for a Raider fan. They heard the news and for a mili-second were excited to have some new blood at the QB position before they realized, that their new blood is Jason Campbell.
The only positive note- the news allowed me to convince Lisa to name our second son JaMichael.

Fresh Meat 2

Ok so I am up to speed on the new Real World/ Road Rules Fresh Meat 2. For those of you who are unfamiliar, it consists of 12 MTV alumni and 12 new characters. Each alumni is paired with a newbie. So lets just dive right in.

I have a real good feeling about this show. First off the challenges have been cool and look even better for the coming episodes. I really like ho the elimination challenge works on this show compared to the ruins b/c it is as a team rather that individual and it is a long challenge not a single event. It also appears as if each elimination will be different so we will not be seeing the same challenges over and over. Definite plus there.
How many time will TJ Lavin (the host) say " Beautiful British Columbia" for the season? Over under 95. Hey and the house they are living in looks ridiculous. I wonder if they build specific house for these shows. What could it cost them? A million, maybe less. Especially given that they take place in remote areas where real estate is probably cheap.

Lets dive into the cast:

Sarah: I thought she hated kenny from the Ruins. Remember him and Evan constantly making fun of her to the point she broke down in tears near the end. Now they are friends. Oh well they have already been voted off.

Darrell: Even though he is gone already he did beat the shit out of Brad in the ruins to a point I have never witnessed on and Real World show.

Jenn, Jillian, Danny, Ryan- no opinions, dont really bring much to the table.

Kenny- Only one half of the super alliance on this challenge, but he is still hysterical. With lines like "I'm here to win money, not hook up with slutty girls" and "not that i am blindfolded people are really gonna have their hands all over me" the comedy is ever flowing. Pair that with an intense rivalry with Wes and he makes for great TV.

Wes- Most intimidating RW/RR player ever? Him vs CT in a fight? Not sure he does seem crazy and that is always a factor. He would kick ass if it was a point system system type of game...more on that later

Katelynn- She's a dude right? So why does she have a girl partner? is it even fair to have her compete vs women? really

CJ- Piglet cut his hair. Good to see a RWC member in the game. looks like he bulked up too

Landon- All around great competitor. If it was up to just that he'd be a favorite in ever game, but is seems like he's not real good friends with any of the guys.

Paula- I actually find her annoying

Noor & Laurel- seem like decent new competitors

Theresa- the hot chick- not too sure if i'd go that far


Here is what I don't like about the show. The voting process as to who goes into the elimination. I think it should be more like biggest loser style where the teams who perform the worst go into the elimination challenge. For example in the last episode Kenny and LAurel came in second in the immunity challenge yet still went into the challenge. Not fair. I think on one show years back they had a point system. And that makes the most sense.

All that said I am pumped for the season. Only thing missing is a Jersey Shore character....maybe on the next challenge

Back to our wheelhouse

Five things to ponder…

1. It was never discussed in length, but I think we both agree that RW DC out performed expectations and equally so RW Cancun was a letdown. I originally was planning on typing up a whole rant about how DC was actually superior to Cancun. But then the more I let it sit, the more I realized that my initial reaction was based more on performance compared to expectation as opposed to a fair comparison. RW Cancun had better looking girls, more crazy story lines, and Bronne. Yes it never lived up to what it could have been but, I still think it was better than RW DC.

2. If you were 21 and still in college, how much would you pay for a shot on the Real World Road Rules Fresh Meat Challenge? I honestly think they should hold televised try-outs. I would watch.

3. Why did they have to move the NFL draft to a Thursday night? (Look I get that the answer is ad revenue… but let me moan) I recognize that watching the draft is incredibly sad to non-sports people. It’s weird and obsessive. When it was held on a Saturday afternoon, I could sit by myself drink some beers and text with my other sport-obsessed friends/family members. But now that it is prime time, us geeky draft watchers are forced to “out” ourselves, and explained to non-sport friends, family, and loved-ones just how far down the rabbit hole we have gone.

4. Since my last post I have flown more than I wanted to. The combo of travel, time zones, airplane germs, lack of sleep, and alcohol naturally lead me to get sick. On one of the flights, I was obviously the “sick guy.” So much so that my coughing and general appearance drove the person across the row from me to pull his shirt up to cover his nose and mouth so as to avoid my germs. At first, I felt guilty as though I was infecting everyone. I tried to stifle my cough and appear healthier. Then I realized that if I looked healthy, people might think this guy the only was covering his mouth and nose because I had a farting problem. Is it better to be infectious or gassy?

5. My son-to-be is registered for nine different seating options. This seems like too much? I just did a quick count and Lisa and I only have seven different seating options.

Possible 2nd Retirement

So back in 2003 I announced my retirement as a fan of the NBA's Utah Jazz. I had routed for them for about a decade with the Mailman, Karl Malone and everyone's favorite white guy, John Stockton. Both of their careers were over. It was a tough decision to make at the time, but I felt like it was the right thing to do. Now I am faced with a similar yet very different situation with the Eagles. Really I feel like I am at a crossroads with them.

McNabb has been traded. Why you may ask? The bottom line is money. The Eagles do not feel like paying him. So basically the owners are saying to the fans, "we'd rather just keep your money instead of putting the best product on the field" The Eagles have been one of the top 5 franchises in terms of wins since McNabb has become the starting QB for the Eagles. Granted they have not been able to win a Super Bowl with him and that's the goal, but the Kevin Kolb Era is putting them in the wrong direction. This is not like baseball where the Yankees could pull a move like not resigning Jeter and still move forward. I mean, NY might self combust if Jeter was not resigned, but he has never been as important as the QB of a football team.

I am a little more calm now than I was 2 days ago when I found out. I was in utter disgust. Still I ask, how does this make the Eagles better? I cannot figure out how. Are we signing some awesome free agents? No. What did we get in return? A 2nd round pick and a 3rd next year. Really? We get to pick 1 extra guy this year, in exchange for our star QB, the face of the franchise. It amazes me how the NFL put so much stock in draft picks. I cannot even come up with a real life comparison for this .

Am I going to retire as an Eagles fan? 2 days ago I would have said yes. Today it's more like I am putting them on probation. I have already stated that I will try to steer my son to be a Jets fan. It just makes sense. Maybe by the time he is into football we will both be Jets fans. We'll have to see how the Eagle organization treats their fans.

Reply to Ryan's comment

Tried to put this as a follow-up comment. shockingly I'm too wordy for the comment length...

So I re-posted Ryan’s comment from FB to here to allow me a bit of space to correct his poorly thought through argument, but also to hopefully keep a bit of history to the discussion.

Anyhow to the first point of your argument. Yes, you are correct that people aren’t overly concerned with this. That said the blog’s about being in charge, not being in charge of only things that people are overly concerned about. I don’t have a solution for everything, but if I can fix a source of frustration pretty easily shouldn’t I?

More so, you are the king of caring about frivolous arguments. See your rants about people rapping along to their head phones, or your magnificent opus about your mother’s horrible cooking. Need I even bring up the 16 years argument over three versus four-pronged forks? I guess the point is; Yes- I agree most people aren’t overly concerned by this, but I don’t care cuz I am.

As for your second point, it is such a poor argument that I feel compelled to pull out my very dismissive, “Come on, your better than that.”

However before I explain why it is wrong on many different levels, I’ll make a brief attempt at being less condescending and step off my high horse for a second. This morning after my 45 minute commute to work via mass transit I noted that my fly was open. If you factor in the wait at the bus stop, the bus ride, maneuvering through port authority, and the ¾ of a mile walk across Manhattan- I would say there is 100% chance that I looked foolish to someone. Almost as foolish as your second argument… Let’s begin

You said, “most people” and “general logic” says the closer I am to the baggage the faster and easier it is to get my bag and get out of there. I will agree that this is the mindset of most people and that it is driven by, as you said, a general self-serving selfish nature. However you failed to notice that “most people” and “general logic” are really stupid. So I’m not sure aligning your argument with the selfish unwashed-idiot masses is a good start.

One of the points of “If Rob and Mike were in Charge” is to fix things that are wrong, and in this case the “general logic” you described is first on the list.

1. You will not get your bag faster by standing closer to the luggage carousel. There is no little man who prioritizes the bags of the selfish stupid people who crowd toward the front. For the most part bags come out at random. (More on this later.) By standing closer, you have the same chance of grabbing your bag first as you do of being pushed aside by someone standing behind you as they grab their bag.

2. It will not be easier to get your bag if you stand closer to the carousel. See the arguments above about it being easier to see the bags and easier to pick up the bags if you had the extra buffer zone.

3. It will not be easier to “get out of there” once you have your bag if you are crowded around the carousel. By creating a situation with many layers of people- congratulations you now have the fun of working your bag through a denser crowd just to get out of the airport.

Here’s the thing about this argument. Even the self-serving stupid masses would end up better if they followed my advice.

Sometimes I’ll make an argument where things can be better for the “collective good” if we all behave, but an individual who chooses to act selfishly can get an advantage by screwing the whole group. Think about the concept of merging politely on the highway or standing back for the subway doors. In both of those cases it works out better for the collective group if we follow the rules. But an asshole who breaks the rules of politeness and pushes forward might end up with a better subway seat, or might end up further down the road. (I learned this first hand when I made my daily commute up to that consulting gig in White Plains when I had the boss that stole my doughnut. The doughnut had nothing to do with lesson I learned while merging on the GWB, but it might be worth a whole discussion on its own.)

Anyhow…

This isn’t one of those cases. Because bags come out in a random order, the person who pushes ahead to the carousel gets no advantage, and in fact causes harm to himself by inciting the crowd behavior.

Want to know how I know this - because my bags don’t come out in a random order. My bag comes out first. (I mentioned above that we would come back to this.) Because of my travel schedule, I end up with elite status on my flights; that means on the rare case I check a bag; my bags are prioritized and end up coming out first. Even in this preferred situation, it would be easier for me to get my bag and leave if everyone followed my lead and stood two steps back from the carousel.

Anyhow, appreciate the comment; and love the spirit of the conversation. We have been having these same inane conversations for quite some time now. Not a week goes by where we don’t rehash some old debate or bring up a topic that generates a dozen or so opinionated emails. I like the idea of this site serving as repository for some of those thoughts. Feel free to continue commenting or even send me an email for a post as long as you – a) don’t disagree with a fundamental truth about airport etiquette when I am 100% right and b) stop harping on about that three-pronged fork crap…

An introduction to the way things should be…

I have had a long standing belief that I should be in charge of most things. It’s not that I think I am always right (although that is often the case); it’s just that there is often a better way to do something and I simply for the life of me can’t figure out why it is not “the way.”

For example, when collecting bags from the luggage carousel at the airport, if the entire group of people decided to take two giant steps back the whole process would work out better for everyone. Not some people, every person.

1. More people would be able to fit in the first row. (I’m not going to pull out the geometry, but by increasing the diameter of the circle you increase the circumference, allowing more people to stand in the first row.)
2. It would be easier to see bags coming around the belt. (Again trust me on the geometry. Standing back an extra 5 feet would give you a greater range of view.)
3. It would be easier to retrieve the bags. As your bags came into view, a person could simply step forward into the open space and have plenty of room to pick up their bag without crashing into the crowd around them.

I have spent years with this idea smoldering inside of me and I can tell you that there are no downsides to this simply being “the way.” My wife and I have tried our own social experiments on few occasions that we check a bag - rushing to the baggage carousel, and purposefully standing an appropriate distance away allowing for that necessary buffer zone. I tell you it is a thing of beauty to watch the next few people as they recognize the genius of my methodology and fall into line, creating a wider perimeter. And in the same respect, there is a moment of rage and soul crushing despair when the first person saddles up to the carousel- as though the rest of us were leaving space for them.

Anyhow my intention isn’t to make this one of those rage filled ranting websites but more to offer solutions and thoughts of how things would be done, if, I and/or my co-author were in charge - hence the name of the blog “ If Rob and Mike were in Charge…”

Rob and I have been friends for over 15 years; our lives are similar and different in so many ways that will become more apparent through the course of our writings. This blog is intended to entertain you all with our thoughts on the important groundbreaking issues of the day- our respective sports teams and our mutual affection for reality TV. And in doing so, we also hope you might indulge us a petty discussion or two, as we tackle the less important idiosyncrasies of life - such as my feelings on airport etiquette (as seen above), or Rob’s aversion to cheese on a burger, or his overuse of ice in a glass of soda.

Check back regularly, and feel free to comment on any of our thoughts or share some of your own.

Regards-
Mike