Reply to Ryan's comment

Tried to put this as a follow-up comment. shockingly I'm too wordy for the comment length...

So I re-posted Ryan’s comment from FB to here to allow me a bit of space to correct his poorly thought through argument, but also to hopefully keep a bit of history to the discussion.

Anyhow to the first point of your argument. Yes, you are correct that people aren’t overly concerned with this. That said the blog’s about being in charge, not being in charge of only things that people are overly concerned about. I don’t have a solution for everything, but if I can fix a source of frustration pretty easily shouldn’t I?

More so, you are the king of caring about frivolous arguments. See your rants about people rapping along to their head phones, or your magnificent opus about your mother’s horrible cooking. Need I even bring up the 16 years argument over three versus four-pronged forks? I guess the point is; Yes- I agree most people aren’t overly concerned by this, but I don’t care cuz I am.

As for your second point, it is such a poor argument that I feel compelled to pull out my very dismissive, “Come on, your better than that.”

However before I explain why it is wrong on many different levels, I’ll make a brief attempt at being less condescending and step off my high horse for a second. This morning after my 45 minute commute to work via mass transit I noted that my fly was open. If you factor in the wait at the bus stop, the bus ride, maneuvering through port authority, and the ¾ of a mile walk across Manhattan- I would say there is 100% chance that I looked foolish to someone. Almost as foolish as your second argument… Let’s begin

You said, “most people” and “general logic” says the closer I am to the baggage the faster and easier it is to get my bag and get out of there. I will agree that this is the mindset of most people and that it is driven by, as you said, a general self-serving selfish nature. However you failed to notice that “most people” and “general logic” are really stupid. So I’m not sure aligning your argument with the selfish unwashed-idiot masses is a good start.

One of the points of “If Rob and Mike were in Charge” is to fix things that are wrong, and in this case the “general logic” you described is first on the list.

1. You will not get your bag faster by standing closer to the luggage carousel. There is no little man who prioritizes the bags of the selfish stupid people who crowd toward the front. For the most part bags come out at random. (More on this later.) By standing closer, you have the same chance of grabbing your bag first as you do of being pushed aside by someone standing behind you as they grab their bag.

2. It will not be easier to get your bag if you stand closer to the carousel. See the arguments above about it being easier to see the bags and easier to pick up the bags if you had the extra buffer zone.

3. It will not be easier to “get out of there” once you have your bag if you are crowded around the carousel. By creating a situation with many layers of people- congratulations you now have the fun of working your bag through a denser crowd just to get out of the airport.

Here’s the thing about this argument. Even the self-serving stupid masses would end up better if they followed my advice.

Sometimes I’ll make an argument where things can be better for the “collective good” if we all behave, but an individual who chooses to act selfishly can get an advantage by screwing the whole group. Think about the concept of merging politely on the highway or standing back for the subway doors. In both of those cases it works out better for the collective group if we follow the rules. But an asshole who breaks the rules of politeness and pushes forward might end up with a better subway seat, or might end up further down the road. (I learned this first hand when I made my daily commute up to that consulting gig in White Plains when I had the boss that stole my doughnut. The doughnut had nothing to do with lesson I learned while merging on the GWB, but it might be worth a whole discussion on its own.)

Anyhow…

This isn’t one of those cases. Because bags come out in a random order, the person who pushes ahead to the carousel gets no advantage, and in fact causes harm to himself by inciting the crowd behavior.

Want to know how I know this - because my bags don’t come out in a random order. My bag comes out first. (I mentioned above that we would come back to this.) Because of my travel schedule, I end up with elite status on my flights; that means on the rare case I check a bag; my bags are prioritized and end up coming out first. Even in this preferred situation, it would be easier for me to get my bag and leave if everyone followed my lead and stood two steps back from the carousel.

Anyhow, appreciate the comment; and love the spirit of the conversation. We have been having these same inane conversations for quite some time now. Not a week goes by where we don’t rehash some old debate or bring up a topic that generates a dozen or so opinionated emails. I like the idea of this site serving as repository for some of those thoughts. Feel free to continue commenting or even send me an email for a post as long as you – a) don’t disagree with a fundamental truth about airport etiquette when I am 100% right and b) stop harping on about that three-pronged fork crap…