RWLV- Season kickoff thoughts...

Back- not necessarily by popular demand but certainly by the demand of at least one fan, Rob and I will try to commit to writing more but at the minimum we will commit to giving our initial thoughts on the new Real World Las Vegas (RWLV) cast.

First let me say that I will naturally be biased, as I consider the original RWLV cast the greatest season in the show’s history. Which is odd, because if I was able to create my ideal 7 cast members; I’m not sure any from that season make the cut. Yet for the pure random seven people picked to live in a house- they fully delivered better than any other season…

As for the new edition of RWLV, I’m gonna say things did not start out stellar for me. I feel like they got the dynamics wrong. Before I get to a member-by-member breakdown, allow me to explain my three big issues…
1. In the 7 person cast I prefer it to be 4 girls and three guys… this prevents the guys from pairing up. Its been a while since we had the seven person cast but look back. Would you rather have had San Diego, Austin, and Sydney (3 guys/4 girls); or Philly, Key West, and Denver.(4 guys / 3 girls) This leads to number 2…
2. I need my guys to be one fun cohesive unit. When we end up with pairs of guys there are less shenanigans. The rowdy guy group can feed off each other’s energy and that falls off when they divide. Also when guys pair up there becomes more animosity and that leads to in-fighting which I don’t like among the guys… however…
3. I like when the girls split up into factions. My checklist for an ideal female cast member is: hot, irrational, promiscuous, and catty. When this breaks down into two groups of girls hating each other and out-slutting each other over their daddy issues I am like a pig in slop. When this turns into the girls forming one cohesive unit and supporting each other I am ready to switch the channel.

All that said, I am a bit un-impressed by the initial house dynamics: Team 1 Supportive girls, Team 2 Southern guys, Team 3 Edgy guys…

In all fairness to this season I can admit that there are some intriguing personalities… some quick notes..

1. My Cousin- Let’s just get it out on the table now. Michael (the southern guy who did not star in gay porn) is so eerily similar to my cousin that it freaks me out. Looks, mannerisms, voice… I can’t rationally discuss this character without recalling Connor.
2. Adam from Maine- Far and away the most intriguing character. There are so many fun things about this guy. He is from Maine but seems uber-thug. Really? Maine has a lot of tough neighborhoods? On the topic of his rocky past. I love the fact that he basically “ya-da ya-da ya-da’d” shooting someone. Seriously, in an interview he is giving detail and then says “I got mixed up with the wrong crowd, one thing led to another and then someone got shot and I went to juvee for three years”… needless to say I am blown away that he didn’t provide even a bit more description. Can I at least get clarification if he did the shooting? Also love that after his stint in juvee he claims to be interested in criminology. Of course, that claim was said to Nany when he was hitting on her. Which brings up his most interesting facet, he is nearly a pathological liar when it comes to hitting on women- and I think that it awesome. The set of clips of him using line after line on different girls is fantastic. I would love to see a hidden camera shot of Jordy, Nany’s at home boyfriend, as he watched this guy tell the camera how he plans on breaking up Nany’s 6-year relationship.
3. Nany- She fits the standard mold of the RW cast member with a long-term boyfriend. Jordy is simply put dead man walking- unless Adam has sex with Nany’s sister in front of her, there is little chance that Nany stays with Jordy through this season. I like that she is hot. I like that she is dumb enough/self centered enough to tell her boyfriend “there is a guy in the house who is attracted to me.” She has potential.
4. The garbage man- I honestly don’t know the name of the black guy I just know that when he got the call from the casting department he felt like he won the lottery. No 20 year old wants to be a garbage man, and this kid just got his ticket punched to a life/pseudo-career of RW challenges and club appearance fees. Also if his initial reaction to hooking up with two unattractive chicks is any indication of his antics- we should be in good hands… Ride the wave big fella..
5. Naomi- Pass. Seriously I have nothing to add about this girl.
6. Heather- First off- redemption for NJ. See we do have hot girls despite what you have seen on the Jersey Shore. Secondly, love her motto of “I could always be in a bikini.” This really should be the secret of success for all female reality show cast members. I yell at the TV most Monday nights when the girls sit around the Bachelor mansion not in bikinis. Attention: you are in a competition for a man. At all times you should be bringing the goods. When he shows up for a date with another chick you should be doing everything you can to own a little spot in his memory. Anyhow Heather, lead by example and always be in your bikini. Also looking forward to seeing your reaction when you learn that the guy you are hooking up with did gay porn…
7. Dustin- gay porn, gay porn, gay porn… one more time gay porn
Wow. I did not see that coming from the southern guy who talks about falling in love with any girl with a sweet personality. I mean this is a new horizon for the RW franchise. They have had cast members transition into porn but never have they pulled from the ranks of porn to fill a cast. Then add in the fun twist that this is the “straight guy who did gay porn just for the money.” Wow. My only concern is I want this out in the open sooner rather than later. Don’t give me five weeks of him sweating out his secret, give me more time of everyone being puzzled shocked and a weirded out.

Dorsett I’ll ask you to follow up with some thoughts but also a few predictions as per Ms. Gerber’s request.